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寶貝,我要和妳做愛。

寶貝,我要和妳做愛。
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打呢個題目的時候,不禁一陣面紅耳熱。係囉,英文既話我打一千次都係咁自然流暢,甚至乎要講出口都冇問題。”Babe, I ‘ll make love to you”, how sweet it is!

一用中文講就弊,舌頭打結不在話下,連感覺都怪雞非常。我敢講,若果你夠膽用中文對相識不久既女伴講「寶貝,我要和妳做愛」,那陣甜蜜的氣氛肯定冇左大半,伊人恐怕要馬上要重新打量你既為人(相處日久的就會以為你有病或者玩野)。反之,情意綿綿之時温柔地在耳邊輕輕一句”Babe, I’ll make love to you” ,則分分鐘是關鍵一刻打開心防的殺着。

唉,枉稱中文幾千年文化,簡單到連「做愛」一字都要用泊來品(日本用單字”H” 就更經典) 。嗱,咪話我冇文化,形容男女相悅之事我地自家出品其實甚多,「巫山雲雨」可以,「魚水之歡」亦得;「歡好」又可以,「交歡」重貼題。弊就弊在詩意得滯,唔通肉緊既時候重成個八股佬咁話「娘子,我欲與卿歡好,共赴巫山,翻雲覆雨」咩!

好弊。原來我地中文自上世紀二十年代係胡適推行語體文運動之後冇進化過。唔係話外國月亮特別圓,外國既性開放都係近幾十年既事,唔係六七十年代源於美國既一輪婦解與性運席捲全球,我地又邊有得好似而家咁公開談性?係喎,六七十年代我地中國仲搞緊文革,性開放剩係得老毛係自己後宮搞,唔怪得我地性思想咁滯後啦。中文呢,就係咁不但止喪失左幾千年流傳落嚟既風流,重失去左一個與時並進既機會,令如今我地中國男兒係老蘭同老外交手爭女既時候係最關鏈既一刻輸個馬鼻:又唔想好以油尖旺蠱惑仔一樣問身邊女伴今晚可唔可以同人「扑野」,就只好扮鬼佬講句”I’ll make love to you” 。唉,人地母語嚟架,點fight唧?

都唔知「扑野」呢個到肉但核凸既詞係點嚟既;男仔講就肉酸下流不在話下,有時我聽到女仔講出口,真係覺得核凸到作嘔。咁唔講「扑野」,好似我啲咁既斯文敗類又有乜選擇?「唔、、、今晚、、、我可唔可以同妳、、、咩、、呀?」「今晚、、我想同妳、、搞野、、」點呀?咩呀?搞咩呀?有冇啲直接到題得嚟又温柔啲架?大陸我就唔知喇,台灣都好啲,人地係用「愛愛」嚟形容既;男人講係騎哩啲,但由女人口中講出嚟:「我們愛愛好不好?」(用台音國語想像)~嘩,真係筋骨騷軟啦。咁我地香港有冇啲啱用既字先?

原來冇。唔怪得之啲港女去凑鬼都唔騷我地啲港男啦。唉,可惜香港如今人材凋零,黃霑、林振強之後,我地去邊度揾個咸咸地得嚟又文釆風流既嚟幫我地去搞搞”make love” 呢個字既最佳中譯?在此之前,恐怕只能暫時繼續促狹地對女伴咩住先搞住先。再唔係,學好英文,跟Boyz II Men一齊唱〈I’ll Make Love to You〉,都應該可以止得吓咳既。

I’ll Make Love to You – Boyz II Men - 試聽
Turn off the lights on your way over here
Come here
Take your clothes off
Slowly, i wanna enjoy each layer peel from your body
Shhh
Don't say a word
Just lay back
Close your eyes
And tell me what dreams run through your head (of you and me me and you)
I've got some of my own that i want to share
Here and now babe
Don't say a word
I'm like a rocket on a rise
I'm ready to explode
Take control of my love and feel the passion
'cause i will do anything, girl you need only ask it baby
*Chorus*
I wanna make love to you
Holding you all night long
I wanna make love to you
And I will not let go
'till you tell me to
I wanna make love to you
Holding you all night long
I wanna make love to you
And I will not let go
'till you tell me to
Girl relax
Let me near your body so I can do the things, oh
I'm gonna concentrate on you
That's all i wanna do
Are you ready, it's gonna be a long night
Throw your clothes on the floor
'cause i took mine off at the door
So hit the lights babe and explore
Girl when you ask me inside, you don't have to ask anymore
*Chorus*
Baby tonight is your night
And i will do you right
Just make a wish on your night
Anything that you ask me
I will give you the love of your life
*Chorus*

PS: 起文的源因在於昨夜在電視上又看到這首歌的classic MTV而有感,想起有一天在一家live pub聽歌時,旁邊一位女仕對我說一定要買那歌手的CD,因為他的歌很棒,是最佳的make love music。我想,就是呢,我們好像真的沒有什麼情歌適合用來作做愛的BGM,搞到用來用去都是鬼佬的情歌,太大distance,冇feel。行文之前,我找來〈I’ll Make Love to You〉的歌詞細閱一下,Oh my babe~乖乖不得了;如果把歌詞連在一起念出來,真是又激情又温柔,有意思的還不乖乖就範?但若然在香港有人夠膽寫一樣的內容,恐怕歌曲出街半日就變成禁歌了。唉,連最私人最親蜜的性愛都不自由,都咁悶蛋,重學咩人講要大國崛起?

原文於已執笠的Yahoo Blog HK,4 Sep 2007,成九年前了。香港有變壞,冇變好。哀哉。

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