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傷痛的一剎 IN AN INSTANT

傷痛的一剎 IN AN INSTANT

塞爾特人開季很順,就算經歷了Gordon Hayward重創而提早收「咧」的慘痛,兩連敗後,連同今日贏帝王,目前已連勝六場,以6勝2負排在東岸第一。或者綠軍看起來很不錯,一班新秀令人看到美好前景,可是大家都還是很懷念美國隊長,很希望他能盡快復元,再次在球場領軍。

G.Hayward昨晚就在fb貼了長文”IN AN INSTANT”,道出他由受傷一刻至今的感受,節錄如下,有興趣的朋友可看看。

我做過這個戰術無數次。

I had run that play countless times.

在空中的時候,我感覺和之前沒有兩樣,我意思是,我明白在空中那刻是被撞得有點失去平衡,也深信:「慘了,今次一定會跌得很重。」可是很多時候,你都能在空中調整身體,然後穩穩落地,避免踩上甚或又引致嚴重受傷。

This time didn’t feel any different when I was in the air. I mean, I knew—there’s a moment when you’re in the air and you’re knocked off balance, and you realize, “Oh no, I’m about to come down hard.” But a lot of times, you’re able to kind of adjust your body in the air so you come down flat, and don’t land on anything you can hurt that badly.

然後突然地,來了。

Then all of a sudden, it came.

那感覺是當我的腦袋明白發生何事後,我就被不斷的痛楚侵襲,訓練員飛快地號過來,大約是三秒、五秒鐘,可是當我跌坐地上,看到自己的腳扭向相反方向,那一刻像是永恒般漫長。Dr. Rosneck,騎士的隊醫,先幫我固定傷處,然後告訴我,他們要先幫我扭正足踝。我咬緊牙關,然後他們就動手,那刻我深深體會到死去活來的痛楚,可能是我一生最痛的一次。

It was like once my brain figured out what had happened, I was hit with shots of pain. The training staff came running over to me super fast, but however long it was—three seconds, five seconds—I just remember sitting there, looking at my foot the wrong way, and it felt like an eternity. Dr. Rosneck, the Cavaliers doctor, braced me as he explained that they wanted to try and pop my ankle back into place. I held on, and the moment they did it, there was just a massive shot of pain, probably the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life.

那一刻,醫護人員把我抬上擔架,我的腿很痛,也完全不能集中。我記得LBJ有走過來,Kyrie及其他隊友也有上來和我說話,他們都祝福和為我祈禱;可是所有東西都像是模糊不清,尤其是被抬離場時,整個人都被不同的思緒侵襲。我在想,是不是一切都完了?我的努力,我剛轉到新球隊,可是就發生了這種事。

這會對我有甚麼影響?我能否再次回到賽場?再次打波?我是否已玩完?職業生涯已完蛋?

我現在應該怎樣做?

At that point, the medical staff started to load me onto the cart. My leg was still throbbing, and my mind was all over the place. I remember LeBron coming over. I know I talked to Kyrie and a bunch of my teammates and coaches. All of them were wishing me well and praying for me, I think. Everything was a blur. It was when the trainers were carting me off that I was just hit with this wave of emotion. All I could think was that it’s all over. I did all this work. I moved to a new team. And now this happens.

What is this going to do to me? Am I going to be able to come back? To play again? Am I done? Is my career over?

What do I do now?

今晚,本來應該是非常特別的一晚。

開幕夜,所有人都情緒高漲。NBA回來了,Kyrie也回到克利夫蘭。有些人在噓他,其他的都為他打氣;氣氛完全讓人感覺到是大戰即將來臨,當你即將要面對LBJ和他的騎士,成為這種宿敵戰中的其中一員。我準備好迎接球季開始,覺得比甚麼東西都要刺激。

It was supposed to be a very different night.
Opening night. Everybody was pumped. The NBA was back. Kyrie was coming back to Cleveland. Some people were booing him. Others were cheering. It felt like a big-time game, going against LeBron and the Cavs, and being part of that rivalry. I was excited more than anything, ready to finally get the season started.

太太Robyn曾來電,但我沒有和她說甚麼。她一直知道事件的發展,而終於,我們在電話聯絡上了。她只是不斷地說:「很對不起,我真的很希望可在你身邊幫助你,希望能夠幫你拿掉痛楚。我可以做甚麼?不用擔心,一切都會無事的,神自有祂的安排。」

My wife Robyn had called, but I hadn’t talked to her yet. She was getting updates basically from right after it happened. Finally, they put her on the phone. She just kept saying, “I’m so sorry. I wish I could be there to help you. I wish I could take the pain away from you. What do you need me to do?” It’s going to be okay. God has a plan.”

飛回波士頓的旅途中,我的隊友接連來鼓勵我,看到這班新隊友對我如此熱切關心,令我非常感動,畢竟我們只是一起幾星期,認識並不深。他們的支持簡直令我深受感動,而且永不能忘懷。

On the flight back, my teammates all came by to encourage me. It was very emotional for me to see how all of these new teammates of mine, guys who I had only spent a few weeks with at that point, were so sincere about their concern for me. Their support has at times overwhelmed me and it will not be forgotten.

之後幾天的事就如慢動作,Danny Ainge來探我,也給了我一些手術上的意見,而教練Stevens也有來到,並陪伴我一陣子,並問我需要甚麼。我已忘記了當時的事,但其他人之後告訴我,我向他要一個籃球。我應該真的有這樣說,因為我回家不久,教練的太太Tracy就帶了一個籃球來我家。

The next day was moving in slow-motion. Danny Ainge came by and offered me some advice with the surgery. At some point, Coach Stevens came back and stayed with me for a bit. He asked if we needed anything from him, and although I don’t remember this, people say that I asked him for a basketball. I must have, because when I got home a couple days later, Tracy had brought one by.

當我完成手術,終於可以回家,他們把醫院的床也帶回來,讓我可在家休養,也可陪住太太Robyn和我的兩個小朋友Bernie和Charlie。

When I got home a couple days later, we put a hospital bed in the family room so that I could be around Robyn and our two daughters, Bernie and Charlie.

兩個小女孩都不明白我腳上是怎麼一回事,她們也不知道柺杖是甚麼(Bernie 2歲,Charlie 1歲);但她倆都愛上我的電動車,因為可載她們四處走,難怪她們認為那是世上最好的事。

The girls both lit up when I got back from the hospital, but they were confused by what was on my foot. They were confused by the crutches, too. (Bernie is two; Charlie is one.) What they both loved was the scooter I got to ride around on. They thought it was the best thing ever.

我的復康之路剛展開,但已有很多人要向他們一一道謝。第一位,當然是太太Robyn。如果沒有她在我身邊,人生中可能有很多難關都闖不過,尤其是剛過去的幾過月。當我坐在克利夫蘭騎士的更衣室,腦海中首先想到的,就是:「Robyn現在可以怎樣做?除了要照顧兩個小朋友,還要加上我。」

My recovery is just beginning, but already, I have a lot of people to thank.

The first person is Robyn. There’s a lot of things in my life that I wouldn’t have been able to get through without her—especially in the last few months. When I was sitting in the locker room in Cleveland, one of the first thoughts that went through my head was, “Now what is Robyn going to do? Now she’s got two young kids plus me to take care of.”

當我的話剛出口,她就滿有信心地安慰我:「不用擔心我,我會挺過去的。」不止在醫院一直伴着我,當我回到家,她也把我照顧得無微不至,我想要甚麼都不匱乏,也替我應付所有人,和不斷把我的近況告知朋友。最麻煩是那一大堆藥丸,每小時都要吃不知幾多粒,可是她總是安排好,紀錄得一清二楚。最重要是她不斷鼓勵我:「我們要強勢回歸,要比之前任何時刻都更強。你一定會復元,但在此之前要先努力練層,快快開始!」她令我充滿歡樂,也幫忙了一切,我真不知如何感謝她。

From the first minute we spoke, she was like, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” She was there with me at the hospital the whole time. Ever since I’ve been home, she has been a superstar as far as getting me everything that I need, dealing with everyone, trying to update them about what’s going on. There’s a bunch of pills that I’m on right now that she has to regulate. You can only take so many per hour. She’s got a chart marked down for all that. She’s also been really encouraging. “We’re going to come back from this stronger than ever,” she tells me. “You’re going to be fine. But we’re going to have to work at it, so get off your ass and start now!”

She makes me laugh.

She’s just really supportive and helpful, and I can’t thank her enough for that.

我正在做甚麼?

我開始看球賽。當我最初嘗試睇波,感覺是非常沮喪,因為自己未能落場,甚至連隨隊也不能。每當睇波時也覺得很難過,因為明白自己今季都不能幫助到球隊。

So what do I do now?

I’ve started by watching the games. At first, it was just grueling to try and watch. I was overwhelmed with frustration, knowing that I can’t be a part of it right now. I’m not even with the team. It’s hard mentally to watch the games because I’m sitting here thinking, “I’m not going to be able to help the team on the court this year.”

但我隨即制止自己胡思亂想。我要改變想法,就算肉體上未能幫到球隊,也可以在其他方面,例如鼓勵隊友和教練,總之一切想像得出的方法;可能是睇片時分析對手,又或者用我的領導才能來指引或幫助(年輕球員)。我已等待不及歸隊作出貢獻,因為我獲得的實在太多。

But I’ve decided that has to stop. I have to change that way of thinking. I know I can’t help them physically on the court, but I am going to do everything in my power to support my teammates and coaches in every way imaginable. Whether it’s breaking down film or just providing leadership and guidance, I can’t wait to give back. I’ve already received so much.

我一直想像踏進花園球場,以塞爾特人球員身份首次出戰的感覺;雖然要延遲,但每天努力復健,就令我越接近這時刻。我已幻想與波士頓的市民一起分享那刻的感覺,雖然我未完全了解這城市,但經過一切,我早已和波士頓緊緊連繫在一起,以一個超越我能想像的方式緊緊相扣。

現在,一切都是關於回來。

是時候開始了。

I keep imagining what it’s going to be like to step onto the floor at the Garden, and make my regular season debut as a Celtic. It’s going to be a little delayed. But with each day of my rehab, I’ll be that much closer to making it happen. I’m already dreaming about sharing that moment with everyone here in Boston—a city that I’m still getting to know, but that I’ve connected with through all of this in ways beyond anything I could have imagined.

Now, it’s all about getting back.

Time to begin.